Friday Night Blues

Elmo (this cat I know) likes to sleep a lot. He's still a kitten, so I guess he needs it. I, on the other hand, don't need as much. But on a Friday night, I find myself on the bed, with my laptop, staring at a screen littered with people I don't really give a fuck about. And Elmo's looking at me, wondering when I'll shoo him off the bed. Honestly, I just let him stay because I need the company. This cat business really makes me feel like an aging spinster, but that's not really true, is it?

A prancing pony takes flight mid prancing somewhere but you're still a distant memory. Wisps of brown hair caught in sunbeams ohsobright, you're the epitome of lost loves. Come back and say a few nice things and maybe we could be friends again.

There's no use complaining though, is there? Right now there are 59 other people on my Friends List, online. I imagine them, little glowing souls waiting to connect, waiting for a sonic splash of color SPLAT!, waiting for a little anything that'll pick their fancy. Not consciously waiting, either. But it's there. Elmo waits for Oceanfishy, mostly.

Some nights your voice takes human form. Scribbles in my notebook, a hand brushing through my hair, orange flavored icecream, R.E. M. songs, - pockets of memories I'll never throw away. Maybe, you were here to never be here, afterall. Like the ghosts I used to tell you about.

I'm not always like this, though. I like my time alone, most of the time. I spend it in reflective solitude - munching on a book or some music or a tv show. It's surprising how much of our time's spent in looking at other people's work. But not tonight. Tonight I wanted to be out there, finding something new, SEEING something new, treating my senses to new delights. I sound dramatic to myself and I wouldn't really subject the blog to so much trite, but I made a promise to keep writing and that's what I'll do. Elmo's licking my foot clean now.

So called friends, you are being let go of tonight. Like starlight that never made it to your eyes, you're being forgotten, once and for all.